That isn't really how it works
Discussing questions of life, death and afterlife with bereaved children and young people
Keywords:
Children, death, afterlife, worldview, culture, meaning-makingAbstract
Bereaved children today are likely to encounter a vast plurality of beliefs, often conflicting and deeply held, about what may or may not happen after death. Practitioners working with bereaved children may find their own personal and professional understandings and beliefs challenged – not just about death and what follows but also about children's cognitive capacities. In this article a bereavement counsellor draws on her own work to emphasise the importance of keeping an open mind and a willingness and curiosity to explore with children their thoughts and beliefs about life, death and afterlife, in order to help them create a narrative that is meaningful and helpful to them.
References
Allan, N. 2006. Heaven, London: Red Fox Picture Books.
Erikson, E. 1963. Childhood and society, New York: WW Norton.
Frangoulis, S, Jordan, N and Lansdown, R. 1996. Children's concepts of an afterlife. British Journal of Religious Education, 18: 114–123.
Gire JT 2002 . How death imitates life: cultural influences on conceptions of death and dying WJ Lonner DL Dinnel SA Hayes DN Sattler Online readings in psychology and culture [online]
Washington, DC Center for Cross-Cultural Research, Western Washington University (unit 14, chapter 2) Available from: http://www.wwu.edu/~culture [accessed 15 Oct 2009]
Kenyon, BL. 2001. Current research in children's conceptions of death: a critical review. Omega, 43(1): 63–91.
Klass, D. 1999. The spiritual lives of bereaved parents, Philadelphia: Brunner/Mazel.
Klass D Silverman R Nickman S 1996 Continuing bonds: new understandings of grief New York/Abingdon Routledge
Neimeyer R 2001 Meaning reconstruction and the experience of loss Washington, DC American Psychological Association
Normand, C, Silverman, P and Nickman, S. 1996. “Bereaved children's changing relationships with the deceased”. In Continuing bonds: new understandings of grief, Edited by: Klass, D, Silverman, R and Nickman, S. 87–111. New York/Abingdon: Routledge.
Rosenblatt, P. 1997. “Grief in small-scale societies”. In Death and bereavement across cultures, Edited by: Parkes, CM, Laungani, P and Young, B. 27–51. London: Routledge.
Sagara-Rosemeyer, M and Davies, B. 2007. The integration of religious traditions in Japanese children's view of death and afterlife. Death Studies, 31: 223–247.
Rinpoche Sogyal 2008 The Tibetan book of living and dying London Random House
Valentine, C. 2009. Continuing bonds after bereavement: a cross-cultural study. Bereavement Care, 28: 6–11.
Walker, G. 2000. Secular eschatology: beliefs about afterlife. Omega, 41(1): 5–22.
Walter, T. 2008. Mourners and mediums. Bereavement Care, 27(3): 47–50.
Yalom, I. 1980. Existential psychotherapy, New York: Basic Books.
Yalom, I. 2008. The ripple effect. Therapy Today, 19(4): 6–11.
