The wound that doesn't heal

When a parent loses a child

Abstract

Even though people know that children die, often they do not know how to respond to the death of a child.  More specifically, people do not know how to respond to a bereaved parent after his or her child has died.  This is especially true in the United States where the death of an infant or child death is relatively uncommon.  This essay addresses the complex and often contradictory feelings that bereaved parents can feel particularly in response to the actions of those around them – family, friends and colleagues – who actually mean well.  Unfortunately, for a bereaved parent, even with the support and well wishes of others, things do not always get better with time; things can actually get worse.  For some bereaved parents, the loss of a child is too much; it is similar to a sore or wound that cannot heal and eats away at a person until nothing is left.